I wish I could punch you in the face.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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