i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
