Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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