What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
