So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
