I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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