She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
