Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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