imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
