he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
