just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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