Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We are two peas in an std pod
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
