I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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