Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
