pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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