I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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