Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
