it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
