Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
