i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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