His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
