I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
