sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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