He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
