The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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