I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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