Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
