my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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