i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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