I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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