I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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