I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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