you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
