I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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