He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
