A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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