I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You have to summon your inner elephant
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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