is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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