All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
