I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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