Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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