this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
