Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
