I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
