I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
