margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
