they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have fence marks all over my body
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
