do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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