I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
