Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
