Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
