Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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