you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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