i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
