need another drink. this is the easiest way
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize