I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
